Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Mom of Boy

20 weeks

I have officially joined the club -- the MOB club.  The Mom of Boys club, that is.  Or, in my case, Boy.

I'm not sure what to do with that.  Because being pregnant with a son feels unexpectedly, radically different from carrying a daughter.

When I found out in my first pregnancy that we were expecting a girl, I felt so relieved.  A girl!  I was a girl!  I know girls!  The tangled curls, the opportunity to buy dress upon adorable dress, the anticipation of female teen insecurity and possible snark -- I know all that.  I felt ready for that.

But a boy?  What do I know of boys?

I know a bit of what the Best Husband Ever was like as a boy, the single son in a family of six children.  I have heard the stories -- playing all day in the mud, drawing tiny stick figure armies again and again, stringing wire in a tangled web across an entire room.

Will our son be like that?  I don't mind that.  A bit strange, a bit unfathomable, perhaps, but endearing.

I have larger concerns.

What does a boy need to become a man?  And what does he need from his mama to become a man?

What can I do -- a woman who has spent her career and her life largely working with girls, with other women -- what can I do to help him to grow into the man God has created him to be?  To be a Christ-like leader?  To become a kinsman-redeemer husband and father? 

What do I know of boys becoming men?

Not much, I think.  I have a great deal to learn.

But there are a few things that I know without doubt . . .

That I love the boys God has given me -- my husband first, and now our son.

That I am looking forward to the challenge of being a mama to a boy.

That I am okay with mess and mud and whatever healthy chaos our son brings into our lives.

That I am looking forward to seeing my husband be a father to his son, to see this special relationship blossom.

That I will learn how to be a mama to this boy, and that God and love will cover my lack.

That I am so in love with this little boy taking in shape within me.  That I cannot wait to meet him face to face. 

Little Jacob-boy, I am excited for you to turn our lives and hearts upside down with your particular brand of mess and madness and little boy-ness.  You are pure gift.

20 weeks

Tell me I'm not alone, other mamas of boys, in these worried wonderings?


  1. I love this. I felt the same way, a bit overwhelmed when we realized our Bubby was a boy. Oh dear. I thought 'what do you do with a boy???'. I felt more than ready for a girl. But it's so funny how you don't need to know a thing, they just show you what they need. They are big fans of their mamas for sure! :)

    You are one beautiful mama!!!

    1. Thanks, Fran! Whenever I start getting REALLY worried, I think of you and Bub, and a few of my other mama friends who have boys, and it reassures me so much. Every one of those boys, including yours, is SO sweet and awesome! And that makes me excited for the unique experiencing of mothering a little guy. Thanks for that!

  2. While I do not have children, I also have faith in you and in your faithful God. That you will find what you need, that you will be open to so much. That you will live with compassion, love, and joy. And that will be enough.

  3. You should read Dr. Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys" book. It is good. I will probably re-read it several times throughout the years. :) And I am actually relieved to have boys instead of girls. I used to be afraid of having them. You are not alone! But I love my little boys! And they love their Mommies! And just think of this - your husband can do "the talk" later! :)

  4. boys are awesomesauce. :) you will be awesomesauce. <3

  5. I'm a MOB! You will love being a MOB too, Beth! Boys are the sweetest. :-)

  6. I've only been blessed to deliver only boys (one into the world and our family, and one into Heaven), so I marvel at how exactly one ever conceives a girl.

    I remember thinking that because everyone in our family except for one aunt, always, always had girls first, I assumed our baby would naturally be a girl, too. I was pretty shocked and honestly, (seems strange to say this now), a little disappointed/intimidated that I was having a boy. Needless to say, I cannot imagine my life without him. He is God's gift to us (so we named him Jonathan, because that means "gift from God").

    I had to go to China to get my daughter. :-)

    I am so, so glad I have my son. It is wonderful raising a "man child" as they used to say in the old days. Lots of wisdom in the Proverbs about training boys.

    Can't wait to visit and reconnect on Friday!


  7. You my friend, will be a phenomenal momma to a boy! They bring laughter at things that you normally wouldn't even think of laughing at, they bring imagination to life, they bring pirates & cowboys & spies to your backyard for you to play right along in, they bring chocolate covered face kisses to their mommies, and mostly, they bring the best snuggles at night if you encourage them to.....

    The world of boys is full of imagination....and those of us that are artistic & dreamers....well, we get the beauty of sitting back & watching it play out. Watch Finding really does remind me of being a mom of boys & what it's like....

    Eve's lil brother will make parts of your heart smile that you never ever knew even existed. You will be doubt.

    1. Oh I LOVE Finding Neverland. I'm going to have to go and watch that again, with MOB eyes... Also, pirates? I'm good with that. ;)

  8. Smiles. Can't help you here, friend. A boy? What is that? It's ALL girl, ALL the time at this house.

    I do know that you will be a great mama to this sweet boy. So happy for you, Beth.

  9. how wonderful!! It is an awesome club :) My little boy(s) bring me SO much joy!!!

  10. I felt VERY similarly to you when I found out my subsequent pregnancy was a boy. I was very surprised as I was so certain, in my heart, that I was expecting another little girl. Having had twin girls before, being one of two girls myself, I just thought that I would not know what to DO with a boy. Like Franchesca, I was more than ready for another girl and I felt a bit nervous about a boy.

    But now I have a boy and am an official MOB, I LOVE having my little boy. And, if it was possible, I am even more excited to see him grow up having read The Erdii's comment. These ladies are right, they are the sweetest and awesomesauce. As are girls! Every child is just so special and amazing.

    So pleased for you and try not to worry, you will be fantastic!

  11. You will know what to do instinctively. Racing cars, trains and dinosaurs that roar! But guess what?? There is also sensitivity, creativity, caring, loving, compassion, a wicked sense of humor and boy do they love their mothers!! Who knew? My mum said to me when I found out Lachlan was a boy- teach him to be the type of person that treats women with dignity, respect and honour :)

    1. That's good advice -- and definitely the kind of person I want our little guy to grow up to be!

  12. I have 2 little boys. I had the very same feeling when I found out Thea was a girl. What do I do with a girl?

    I have 2 very different boys. Luca ISN'T into monsters.... cars.... army or football. Luca loves animals.... he doesn't go to football but goes horse riding and he's the most loveable little boy I know.

    My second little boy is a typical little boy. Football... Football Football! But caring a huggable all the same.

    As soon as you see him and you look at each other.... you'll know what to do.


    1. I love hearing about non-jock boys! I think that stereotype has been ingrained in me. But I'm glad that boys are just as diverse and unique as girls.

  13. You look terrific!! Such a cute outfit!
    See, I'm the opposite! I hope I have a boy or two first before a girl comes along. Girls seem like they'll take a lot more emotional strength to raise with their stresses, tantrums, emotions, feelings, and eventual teenagehood and mother-daughter relationship trickery. That end of parenting makes me nervous. I know I'll have a lot of love and support and energy to parent with, I just have a notion that raising a daughter takes all that AND every last bit of emotional strength.
    Regardless, I'd love any and all children God chooses to bless me with, in any order. I know once I'm pregnant and find out which sex it'll ALL seem overwhelming then!!

    1. I know what you mean -- mom + daughter stuff seems like it has high potential to be tricky/scary/yucky. I wonder why that is...something about female + female, I guess. We can be so catty, doubly so when you're a teenager hopped up hormones. ;)

      Are you guys trying for a kiddo? Regardless of if you are or not...exciting! I think you'll be a great mama, boy or girl.

  14. I love little boys! I have 6 children. I have 2 girls and 4 boys. My 4th little boy is in heaven. My other 3 boys take me places I never thought to go as a girl. My little boys love frogs, worms, baseball, and playing outside every minute of everday. They teach me more about my husband....yes really! And as I am raising them I love teaching them all things girls like such as opening the door for their sisters, being gentle, and being strong. In my experience, little boys LOVE their Mommy! It is a real love like no other! Congratulations! You will love being a Mommy to a boy!

  15. I have two boys. My middle child, my oldest son, is five years older than my baby boy (whose 16). They are like night and day in so many ways. It's really been hard for Luke to adjust to Jared moving on to life as a man. I was blessed with my girl and then my boys. Children are blessing no matter what flavor!!! You are going to love it and be dog-tired to boot!!! Happy to continue to pray for you and your little one. Dea


"I am glad you are here with me."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King