I've been bold this week. Bold with my art, and with offering my heart. At least, that's how it feels to me.
Here's what's happening:
Recently, a fellow blogger inspired me. She* wrote a post describing how she imagined her baby who had died might have looked when she grew up, or might even look right now, in Heaven. So later, when I sat down with my art journal, a little girl was born onto the page matching the blogger's description -- and next to her, a drawing of my own sweet Eve.
It happened so easily and naturally, and felt so good to my grieving heart to both make and have a drawing of my daughter, that I decided to make a few more, this time of some of my babylost mama friends' little ones gone too soon.
And that felt really good, too, and the drawings turned out so sweet. So I sent digital copies of the drawings to my friends. This was the part that felt extra bold to me -- sending out my imaginings of dead children to parents that hadn't asked for them? It could have gone badly, but my friends seemed to enjoy the drawings (or at least were gracious about it).
Then I got to thinking -- if I enjoyed having a picture of my daughter as she might have looked, and if my friends enjoyed having the same, wouldn't other babylost parents feel the same? One of my friends who I sent a drawing to posted on Facebook, "That's my boy!" in association with the drawing. Her son died before twenty weeks, and she has precious little (if anything) that she can say that in reference to. It blessed me that I was able to give her something that she could proudly say such a thing about. Because death does not stop us from loving and being proud of and wanting to show off our children who are not here.
So then came another extra bold step -- I listed customizable drawings of babies gone too soon (called Not Forgotten Angel Baby Drawings) in my Etsy shop. Because we mamas with babies in Heaven can never have too many memory items. It is my hope that these drawings can ease other babylost parents' hearts just a bit. We've got so little to hold on to.
I'm quickly typing this up as our rainbow son is considering whether to nap or to start bawling (he's an avid nap resister . . . stubborn like his mama!), so I'll just leave you with photos of the drawings I've done so far. It is such an honor and a joy to make this little whimsical sketches. I hope you enjoy them, and if you'd like one for yourself or a loved one, check out the details here.
*Blame my sleep-deprived mama brain -- I thought that the blogger who wrote that inspirational post was one person, but when I thanked her for said inspiration, she said it wasn't her! So if you're the blogger who described her angel daughter as blonde with flowers in her hair, let me know -- I'd love to send you a copy of the drawing at the top of this page! Sorry about the confusion!