Tuesday, January 1, 2013

In Which I Do a Scary Thing to My Hair

It took about 30 minutes after writing my last post on saying goodbye to 2012 and welcoming 2013 with the personal focus of "be here now" to realize that that phrase was not complete.

It needed a little bravery, a little boldness.

You see, I wrote that last post while sitting in a hair salon, waiting for a hairdresser to call my name and give me bangs. Bangs. This curly-headed girl wanted bangs, of all things. A gutsy high-maintenance move that, the last time I tried it as a frizzy-mopped middle schooler, made me look like a horse. I'm not exaggerating. And now I have a baby - it's not like I have spare time for anti-equine hair styling.

But when the stylist called my name, I went and watched two pregnancies' worth of hard-grown hair fall into my lap.

And my first thought was -- oh. shit. I left the salon with a forehead itchy from tiny cropped hair leavings, pretty sure I'd just made a humongous mistake and that everyone who'd said not to do such a nothing would now be able to deliver a pointed "I told you so."

But here's the thing. I needed to do this. I needed to try bangs. I've been enjoying the bangs of everyone who wears them, wondering if I had the guts to take such a huge step myself. And I hated how I felt too afraid of making a mistake, of disappointing others, to try.

So you see - I had to let myself try. Regardless of how the bangs turned out. (Although now, thankfully I love them).

Which is why I feel that my 2013 theme of "be here now" is incomplete. It needs a little spicy something to help me beat back some of the fear of Not Fitting In that has kept me from stepping out into my own life for so long.

Was getting my bangs cut scary? Yes - but it was so worth it. It has left me feeling refreshed and alive, and somehow more myself. It makes me feel like more of an artist, that I've made art of my body. And, even better, it makes me want to be bold more. Now I find myself thinking of getting dreadlocks, which felt so scary not very long ago and now seem so right, so fitting for the person I hope to become.

So here it is. The new, I'm-sticking-with-it theme for my 2013 is:

be bold. be here.

Let's do this.

new hair!


  1. I love it! One thing that has stuck out to me ever since I first started reading your blog was how BRAVE you are. This, of course, fits right in.

    1. Hehe that's funny...I definitely don't see myself as brave, just doing what it takes to survive well. But now I want to be truly brave! Thank you :)

  2. I love that they're behaving for you!! I also had everybody telling me not to try it 2 years ago, but I had to do it anyways. Of course they turned out to be right, and mine was a mess, still growing out!! I love yours- they're very pretty! :)

  3. Love your them and your bangs:) so cute!

  4. Yes!It's good, Beth. <3 bangs : )

  5. Love the bangs. Love the theme. Love the boldness. Love you.
    Let's do this, girl!

  6. Love your new hair! :) I just did the same thing a couple of months ago. I'm thankful when I can take a step that is scary... I know you are too. :)

  7. They look fantastic. (And I love the theme!)


"I am glad you are here with me."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King