About Beth


I think deep, in the crevices where most people are afraid to go. I break the conventions of what you're "supposed to" talk about. Someone once told me that there are two kinds of songs -- love songs and pirate songs. I listen to the pirate songs.

I am creative. I am authentic. I am emotional and awkward. I am healing. I am a writer. I am an artist. I am Beth, and I am (not) a problem.

I believe in trusting the process, without needing to plan it all out. I believe in women, reclaiming their true selves. I believe in hope. I believe in leaning into the wilderness. I believe in rainbows.

I believe in showing up, even imperfectly. Especially imperfectly.

I love my husband, my children, and the soul-seekers of the world. I don't have it all together. I am learning how not to apologize. I am learning, instead, to roar.

I have a BA in creative writing and a Master's in elementary education. I'm the founder of Made and the author of Life After Eating Disorder. I was selected as one of BlogHer's Voices of the Year for 2014.

I created my painting in a high school art history class -- a still life of apples. It was fun! I didn't touch art again for many years, but the seed was planted. And it has grown into my very own art shop.

I didn't know stillbirth still happened in the western world until it happened to me. Thirty-one weeks of pregnancy and all the evidence I had for Eve's life was a few precious items and the yawning ache in my soul that still throbs, two and more years later.

We returned home from the hospital, empty-armed, I was brokenhearted but determined. To grieve well. To feel, all of it. To let God use it. And I did, and he did, I guess. I don't know, really, who did what, only that I showed up to the pain, to the searing of reality. And it changed me -- it still changes me.

I know pain and I am still standing.

You can read my stories at the Secret Rebel Club, in Sprout Magazine, and in Still Standing Magazine. You can buy my original art and prints at EpiphanyArt Studio. I'm working on a few delicious projects that will debut later this year. Do stay tuned.

For now, please, make yourself at home. You don't have to pretend here. If you're having a hard day, you are welcome to just soak in my words and be wherever you are. Go wherever you need to go.

Here are a few of my favorite posts to get you started:


If you like it here, I would be honored for you to sign up to receive my newsletter. Want Morey? I tweet over here. Also, I'd love it if you'd like me on Facebook.

I love letters. And you are welcome to email me to share any thoughts or questions you have. And, if my art or my words have impacted you, I am beyond grateful, and would love to hear how. 

Thanks for stopping by. You are most welcome here.   

23 comments:

  1. Beth, Your post is so well written. Thank you for sharing so openly. I have realized over the last year or so, that motherhood comes in many forms. I blogged about this in one of my first posts. However, I think you really did an amazing job of sharing two very different experiences in mothering. Please let me know if it would be okay for me to share this post. Wishing you a blessed Mother's Day. Best, Sarah http://blog.myangelyouareloved.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Sarah. You are welcome to link to these posts. I hope that your Mother's Day was gentle.

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  2. Hi Beth,
    It's nice to meet you. Of course, I'm reading and writing to you because we have a lot in common. I am the mother of boy/girl twins, and 5 babies in Heaven. We lost quadruplets at 18 weeks in 2006 and then our perfect baby girl at 41 weeks on July 1, 2011. I'd love to share my blog with you, agirlandaboyblog.blogspot.com. I am also in recovery from eating disorders including compulsive eating, over exercising, restricting, and bulimia.

    It's not often you come across someone with more than one life changing experience in common.

    God bless and thank you for sharing your journey.

    Laura

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    1. Oh wow, Laura. Thank you so much for introducing yourself. I am definitely off to check out your blog after I finish writing this -- as you said, it's not often that you meet someone who shares MORE than one huge life changing experience! I'm so very sorry that you've had to trudge through eating disorder hell, and the horror of losing not one but five sweet babies (losing four in one go? I can't even imagine...).

      Yesterday must have been a strange day for you, the one year anniversary of your full-term daughter's loss. I hope it was peaceful. I am dreading our own one year mark, coming up in November. You are a brave woman -- I don't think I would have tried again for biological kids after losing quadruplets, but I am glad that you did. Biggest hugs.

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  3. Not only is your work beautiful but so is your blog. Makes me think there is a beautiful person behind it all. You are going to be a blessing to so many people, even people you may never meet. Peace.

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  4. Our daughter was born at 35 weeks sleeping on Oct 6th. I found out we were pregnant with our son in April. Due in December. Hugs to you

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  5. Hi Beth, I read your beautiful essay "When Your Baby has Died and Your Friends are Pregnant" on stillstandingmag.com. It was a brave and inspiration piece. My husband and I lost our baby boy, Buck Masahisa, at 20 weeks this past April. I have communicated over the phone and email with my two best friends (who live long-distance), both of whom are expecting their babies two months behind when I would have given birth to our son. I have been open with them about my intense grief and about my inability to celebrate their upcoming births given the dark place I'm in. I keep thinking how interesting and wonderful an essay told from the perspective of an expectant friend of a babyloss mom would be. While my friends have shared their sadness over our loss with me, I often wonder what things go unsaid . .the really honest things on the other side of this. I wonder if one of your friends would be willing to share this perspective?
    I'm so very sorry you lost your baby girl Eve. I wish you all the best in your upcoming arrival of Jacob.
    Big hugs,
    Ginger

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  6. Beth...I stumbled upon your blog last night while laying in bed listening to Glory Baby while thinking back to November 20,2011 when I lost my sweet Adley Rose at 16 wks gestation. I've been blogging as well, the heartache will never subside but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and yours. Big Hugs!

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  7. Thank you, Cherie! I'm sorry you're remembering a loss, too. I hope the day was gentle.

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  8. I seriously love that you noted you play board games "except for risk." :)

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    1. Haha thanks, Andrea. Risk makes me way too angry, so I've cut myself off. :)

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  9. wow you and I are very much alike.. Sad really. I was 35 weeks pregnant when I found out our daughter no longer had a heartbeat. I delivered her 5 days later on Oct 6 2011. I found out in March 2012 that we were pregnant with our son. He was born happy and healthy Nov 26 2012.

    Hugs to you. I look forward to reading your blog..

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  10. Glad we're connected know. Your heart is beautiful as is your story.

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    1. thanks, new friend. I'm glad, too. <3

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  11. Beth,

    You have an amazing story. Your writing is so real. I hung on every word. I am so glad my life is blessed by knowing you.
    Gale

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  12. love. moved. happy to share such profound authenticity. no veneer. no gloss. no veils. just love. thank you, Claire

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  13. Thanks for sharing your story, Beth. It is so touching. I know others who read it will find peace and closure in reading about your life.

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  14. Beth, I finally found you. It's Tam, from Australia. We used to write to each other as kids. We were the best of Penpals and then life got in the way. I still have all of your letters. What a beautiful, inspiring and moving post. Please get in touch at tamarachapman@live.com.au or on Facebook. Would love to reconnect. You have been on such a journey since we last wrote to each other, some 10 years ago. I will continue to read your work. Keeping you in my prayers, Tammy x

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  15. Hi Beth,

    I was moved by your most recent post and thought you might find this video helpful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKwo-D9UpWA In the event that you are not able to click through simply search for "I am that I am" on you tube. There are several video's choose the "official" one. Wishing you a peace filled journey.

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  16. Wow, beth! I love your blog! This is Devin from Elora's webinar! :) Look forward to getting to know you better. :)

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  17. I wish I had gotten to know you better before we moved. I can't believe the similarities in our lives- I've been to New Zealand (friends lived there for a year), I have babies in heaven, my mom has an alpaca farm... If I ever manage to move back, we need to hang out and have more baby play dates.
    -Jenny (your old neighbor)

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"I am glad you are here with me."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King